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Elena

by Zachary Ross

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1.
Hello 02:14
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2.
That's Just Life 05:52
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Say hello the three ring circus A world of lights behind the curtain Tell me mirror, what's this got to do with life Work all day, go home, keel over The pills don't work to keep me sober But that's okay, I'd rather get high on life Plant my in front of my tv To keep me entertained Fill my head with dopamine To keep bad thoughts away All I ever wanted was a chance to do it right But I guess I missed the boat And that's just life Why did nobody tell me sooner To find solutions on my computer With friends like these I wonder what's the point of life Finally I got all the answers A website told me that I had cancer But that's okay, I knew I'd never make it far in life Plant my in front of my tv To keep me entertained Fill my head with dopamine To keep bad thoughts away All I ever wanted was a chance to do it right But I guess I missed the boat And that's just life These machines make me elated The world outside is overrated Lock the doors and let's get on with life The cats are gone and the mice all scatter I'm upside down, but it don't matter In the end, I guess I never cared about life Plant my in front of my tv To keep me entertained Fill my head with dopamine To keep bad thoughts away All I ever wanted was a chance to say goodbye But I guess I missed the boat And that's just life
3.
I Am Happy 05:35
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I'm so happy for today Cause today it is the happiest of days I've got sunshine on my skin I've got air I'm breathing in All the birds outside are jubilant and gay All the clouds have flown away All the worries and the fears of yesterday Laid a shadow on my mind, but I have pushed them all aside To make some room for all the music I will play Sha-la-lala-la Sha-la-lala-la Sha-la-lala-la Sha-la-lala-la The world around me feels so new But in the air I catch the smell of your perfume As it lingers here someplace On some forgotten pillowcase Like an uninvited presence in the room And so I sit here wondering How every happy thing must always go away Cause the sun will someday die The birds will fall out of the sky And all the color in my eyes will turn to grey Sha-la-lala-la Sha-la-lala-la Sha-la-lala-la Sha-la-lala-la I'm so happy, I am fine Can't you see that I've got nothing on my mind? Cause the world has gone to shit Everyone's so full of it So I'll just sit alone and close up all the blinds Cause I'm a coward, I'm a bore I've a telltale heart that's buried 'neath the floor A secret everyone can see Known to all, but not to me Is it so easy being happy anymore? Sha-la-lala-la Sha-la-lala-la Sha-la-lala-la Sha-la-lala-la
4.
ForgetMeNot Groove 06:52
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Inkwell in a cage I'm falling off the page The flies are swarming Lines are forming Black across the stage Again Footsteps down the hall Upon your mantle wall A portrait cries With crossed out eyes Do you remember me, My friend? (chorus) The match has burned out There's smoke in my mouth A wastebasket cover-up A hacksaw for handcuffs It just wasn't good enough For me Writhing on the floor You're clawing at the door A book that fell Right off the shelf And cracked its yellowed spine Again I've seen the words you hide The marker's barely dried You cannot cheat An incomplete Abandonment to selfish Ends (chorus) Your attempt to stay Forever and a day It's far too late To ruminate On all the things you left Behind A stain you cannot clean An escalating scream A siren whines inside your mind But can you run away For long?
5.
Elena 09:08
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Wearing out the carpet fibers Elena Missing the world behind your head Waste of a horse hair bow, Elena Lying on a corrugated bed Tell me, cause I think you know, dear Elena Tell me, did you really earn your chair? Under manufactured sunlight, Elena Watch as it sweats right through your hair Sure as your fingers dragging cross the strings Legs are kicked out from under you Thief! You thought you could bury me Second chair, under the floorboards See every syncopated beat Under the floorboards Sure as your fingers dragging cross the strings Legs are kicked out from under you Shaking as you salt the ground, Elena There in a circle at your feet Playing to an unseen rhythm, Elena Up from a tunnel underneath Scratching on a silver mirror, Elena Purge every instance of my face Still I reflect off your eyes, Elena Drinking a lion's share of praise Thief! You thought you could bury me Second chair, under the floorboards See every syncopated beat Under the floorboards (x2) Just out of your vision Up from first position I'll take an additional part to play And at my good pleasure The 24th measure Will start a new movement in time (x3) Just out of your vision Up from first position I'll take an additional part to play And at my good pleasure The 24th measure Will start a new movement without Elena
6.
Chasm 05:50
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Remember when, remember how the ink did weep My papers sprawled across the floor, your music singing me to sleep Remember then, remember how across the room A chasm opened in the floor, and somehow I remember too An empty hall, a battered wall, my crumbling nerve A punishment that you did not deserve But through the red, until the end, I pushed you farther out Until the chasm opened up too far Remember then, in silver droplets on the floor You tried to stem the tide of static I had locked behind the door Every day, with every falling grain of sand I knew the dam could not hold out, and so I screamed, and so you ran An iron rod to keep the gears from turning round The hours spent in fear without a sound I see it now, how in a cloud of slow decay I rent a chasm in the earth before the dam gave way I rent a chasm in the earth before the dam gave way Writing a prescription for Blood thinners The instant this Estuary rises in Waves against my heart, I know Down into the cracks was the Only course of action The only thing deep enough Left to contain my last hope I threw myself inside
7.
Hall of Doors 04:36
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Running out of options Watch me spiral down Bit by bit corruption Tunnelling the ground All around me I can See the faces staring Back at me through the Holes in the wall Holes in the wall Holes in the wall Holes in the wall Desperate cognoscenti Listen to them jeer Can anybody tell me That I'm the victim here Let it be a Mystery for me Please don't tell me What is behind Door number one Door number one Door number one Door number one From my place I have so Lovely a view (xN) Infinite possible Doors in the hallway that I cannot open 'cause I am too scared of My- Self, it's a pity that Nobody's listening Stuck as I am in a jar (x2) Rising to the surface Rage has turned to fear Where else can I purchase A ticket out of here? All these doors I cannot open For my fingers Have all disappeared Writing a prescription for Blood thinners The instant this Estuary rises in Waves against my heart, I know Down into the cracks was the Only course of action The only thing deep enough Left to contain my last hope (x2) I threw myself inside
8.
Everybody Else Is Dead 07:20
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Everybody else is dead Everybody else is dead It's true, it's true, Everybody else is dead Except for me and you It's tragic, all the things That brought us to this place Here after all the work the work we've done Life isn't fair, life isn't fun Anymore The children never laugh no more It's true, it's true 'Cause there are no more children left Except for me and you We threw them all away In the alley out behind the playground Hear the final bell It's not so hard to love ourselves The television tells the truth It's true, it's true So no has to read the news Except for me and you It's wonderful to see The happiness that comes from shutting up And shutting out Open your ears and close your mouth We live in a perfect world It's true, it's true Where everything you want is good Except for me and you I can't believe I thought That my way was the right way all along But I'm a fool Just look at how the world's improved So no one ever fights no more It's true, it's true And no one ever locks their doors Except for me and you It's comforting to think That no one's waiting just beyond the glass To catch us dead, I'll laugh it off and sleep instead
9.
I Wanna Go Home 05:18
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I woke up today in a flickering halogen Bulb of a conical room The metallic taste of adrenaline foam And the last fading notes of a tune But there is no door And there is no floor And there is no place to return I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home Hanging a torch on the end of a rope As I lower it down through the earth The fire illuminates every inch of the Neurotic cavern I birthed But there is no sound And there is no ground And there is no place to return I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home Obsessively stuffing myself in a can While my damaged synapses keep firing Wiping my sweat with an oil-soaked rag As the ring in my ear keeps on rising But there is no end And I have no friend And there is no way to return I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home Nobody sees that I'm stuck in a wall Now that everything's out of my hands This isn't exactly the fate I imagined Had all gone according to plan Cause you are not here And I am alone And I can't remember my home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home
10.
Homesick 08:31
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Take me Back to that sunkissed pier Scalding my feet, when every fear Was kicking away the sand Take me Back to the summer haze The alleys and fences ran for days And we ran along with them The sun has set The aluminum burns are All that's left to make me Homesick For cracks in the sidewalk Homesick Abrasions and rainfall Homesick The pressure of human skin Homesick For smears of an inkwell Homesick To hang on the mantle Homesick For anything human Tell me Where do I go from here? I pushed you away, but still so near The echoes keep droning on Tell me Now that I see the lines And there is no current back this time Can I still say goodbye? The cadence calls The restated theme is Just enough to make me Homesick For cracks in the sidewalk Homesick Abrasions and rainfall Homesick The pressure of human skin Homesick For smears of an inkwell Homesick To hang on the mantle Homesick For anything human Give me This terrible fleeting chance Elena, they're calling off the dance And sending me home to die Hear me After all of this wasted time When God only knows how hard you cried I'm ready to say goodbye The glow is dim But the memory of you is still enough to make me Homesick For cracks in the sidewalk Homesick Abrasions and rainfall Homesick The pressure of human skin Homesick For smears of an inkwell Homesick To hang on the mantle Homesick For anything human Homesick For whiskey and ivory Homesick Performance anxiety Homesick The smell of the air outside Homesick For hair on my shoulders Homesick It's all getting colder Homesick For everything left behind The sun has set, but the memory of you is Still enough to make me...
11.
Ready For The End 08:25
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I suppose We both knew Someday this day would come This house of cards I tried to stand on Is coming crumbling down Before I go I hope you know I'm ready for the end These tired eyes I locked away Behind a curtain bright 'Cause I've been scared Of moving forward Caught between the sun and the world I left behind So when I go Down there below I'll look for you, my love After all is said and done, What have I achieved? Living out these final days Without you next to me Without you next to me Now the light Begins to fade I know it won't be long But while this moment Still remains I'll gladly meet you here, at the end of every song And if the glow Is gone tomorrow Pray I rest in peace Though the wound Is sure to ache I hope you'll carry on And if you learn From my mistakes Don't hide away the pain just to spare the ones you love While I'm away Don't be afraid Afraid of letting go After all is said and done, What have I achieved? Living out these final days Without you next to me Without you next to me After all is said and done Can I finally sleep? Now that I've said my goodbyes The night is calling me After all is said and done Can I finally sleep? Now that I've said my goodbyes The night is calling me After all is said and done, I know I cannot stay But still my love for you goes on Though music fades away Though music fades away

about

Special thanks to Scott and Meghan for all of their help in making this story come to life. Go see their talent and learn more about Elena here:
markcureton.com

Thanks also to my patrons who supported me financially in this endeavor; I would never have been able to record this album in my bathroom without your help.

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released May 15, 2019

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Zachary Ross Wisconsin

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